How to Relationship




Feels like about 14 years since I’ve been here writing. Work has been flat-out, life has been flat out. But on a good note, I am home from work for a week and its Easter on the weekend, so you know what that means biiiiitch… Chocolate!!!

Literally me in 3 days

I could sit here and talk about chocolate all night really, but this post is all about the big ship full of relations, or as I call it ‘A Fucking Horror Movie’  Nah only joking lol, I love my better half, she goes alright I guess. 

So I have plenty of friends in relationships and – wait that’s a lie, I don’t have plenty of friends, let me rephrase that.. I know plenty of people in relationships (that’s better), some long-term and some that last about 3 weeks. It gets me really thinking sometimes, Like do some people just dont know how to relationship? Do they know what is wrong and what is right? How to keep their partners happy orrr? Anyway heres my take on how to relationship and what I think it takes to go the miles.


Basic Rules

1.  Don’t Fucking Cheat

2. Talk

3. Sex isn’t Everything

4. Be on the Same Page

5. Set Goals

These rules are pretty much the basics to get on top of when it comes to a happy relationship in my opinion (Pun inteded) , If you’re off on even one of these to be honest then you’re probably not at your happiest point in the relationship. SOOOO lets discuss…

Number One: 

For starters – Fuck you if you have ever cheated on your partner.. Don’t do that. Really don’t. In my honest opinion if you do decide to cheat, it obviously means you dont value your parter enough to care about their feelings or destroying their trust so why not just end the relationship ya ball bag… I dont really know how else to put this rule, Just dont do it. Cool good chat.


Number Two:

This ones huuuuuuuge okay, If you don’t talk about shit then how the bloody hell do you expect to get over things and be happy together? For example – My girlfriend ALWAYS leaves her empty coffee mugs on the coffee table instead of getting up and putting them in the dishwasher, so instead of just ignoring it you know what I did? Yeah, I talked to her about it – well more of a yell followed by a silent treatment after she did it again the very next morning but still.. the point is if you don’t like something or feel like there’s something that needs to be brought up, then you need to be comfortable enough to voice your opinion and explain whats on your mind. It’s very important. In saying that though it does go both ways, you might have something not so positive to say to your parter and they might not like what you have to say but you say it anyway and vice versa they might have something not so positive to say to you either, but you have to take it and communicate to work shit out. Trust me, will work wonders.


Number Three:

So yeah sex is great I know, fabulous even, BUT if you’ve based your whole relationship around it then I’ve got bad news for you.. Or if you’re going to leave someone based on the lack of sex or if it isn’t that flash then yeah you’re probably not that invested in the person soooooo.. Sex alone doesn’t equal a strong relationship. There is more to l♥ve than just the physical attraction, the emotional connection is what matter’s most. Do you still get that feeling when they wake up the next morning looking like a smashed crab? If not then sorry love, but if so then boom chakalaka you might be in love. Sex is probably the easiest part of a relationship really, the tricky part is the emotions. 


Number Four:

So I guess this one falls under the communication aspect of a relationship. It’s a bit of give and take. Sometimes you have to compromise things and by that I mean if you’re a guy you will do what she wants 98% of the time and if you’re a girl, you will always get it your way.. No but seriously, everything needs to be balanced. If you aren’t on the same page with big things like your future for example, so say you’re ready to settle down but your partner just wants to travel and party then you have to really think. do you A. Compromise or B. Think maybe this isn’t for you. Seem’s pretty straight forward doesn’t it? But it is very important, if you aren’t on the same page and haven’t at least discussed this shit then it could end horribly or just cause a bit of an ehhhh moment in the relationship. 


Number Five:

This one is super fun (If you’re on the same page that is), setting big goals together is the best. When you’re going to buy your first home, when you want to be married, have kids, what holidays you’re going to go on, all that fun shit. Not only is it fun but you get to work together to achieve these goals. At the moment my parter and I are saving for our house deposit and every deposit we put into our savings account is a massive celebration, we love it. I’m not saying plan everything out like a crazy person, but the major things that are important to you as a couple is definitely something to consider. 



Being in a happy healthy relationship isn’t hard when done right. It’s basically like spending all of your time with your best friend. Especially when you have a bomb ass partner that is pretty much the same person as yourself (Minus the empty coffee mugs..). I guess you just sort of know when you’re in the right relationship, when you can happily tick all the boxes and be working towards the same goals together. Not to say it will always be sunshine and rainbows, the amount of times I’ve thought about choke-slamming Jess into the table…. Oh boyyyy, but 5 minutes later I’m over it because whats the point in fighting? UNLESS THEY CHEAT, then by all means knock them the fuck out.

Well there you go, a little shortish version of how to relationship, I could dive right into it biut I’d be here for about 3 years explaining everything and it is fun to figure out on your own, if it doesn’t work out then so be it, we learn from our mistakes. Plus breakups are beneficial anyway, read this if you dont believe me. When your relationship does workout though be sure to send me a message and thank me 😉 

Let me know your thoughts! What do you think makes or breaks a relationship?

– Callum


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