Prepare for the cringiest post in the history of post’s. Yep you guessed. This post is allllllll about my numero uno, my one and only, my girlfriend. Everything, all there is to know about us, well maybe not eeeeverything, but here’s where it all started anyway.
Pre warning you though, there’s a section of this post where you’ll fucking hate me and I’ll allow it, because I fucking hate myself for it, always will. No i didn’t cheat, I’m not that much of a fuckwit, jeeeeez.
Rightiooooo my friends, let’s wind the clock back a few years to early 2015. Early Early 2015, We start in January to be exact. So at this time I had a different partner, no I’m not a whore. Anyway so we were having a rough time, things just not going the way I’d thought, fuck knows what she was thinking really, obviously it wasn’t “Man I Love Callum, He’s such a great guy”, because she dumped my little 18-year-old ass, for the second time too, I think (I don’t really remember). Yeah happy new year to me right. Anyway after a few weeks of sleepless nights and empty ice cream containers, I had to well, as everyone would say: “Grow up and move on”. So that’s what I did, blocked it all out and tried to move on. Now I had just started a bridging course at uni around this time, so I had shit that needed to get done. So I picked my bottom lip off the floor and tied it to my face and convinced myself it was time to become a better me and fuck shit up, make some goals and achieve them. First goal being to pass my bridging course.
So There I am sitting in class ready to learn some smart shit, I’m trying so fucking hard to remember what specific class this was, I think if was a Foundations class, something like that, Foundations of Learning I’m pretty sure. Anyway we had to do some sort of interaction task with the people sitting in front of us and it was actually pretty funny, but once again I can’t fucking remember what the bloody task was. It had something to do with doing the washing that’s what I do remember.. Anyway, as you probably assume the person sitting in front of me was the cutest girl in history hey, I didn’t think she was cute first up because I’m pretty sure she didnt laugh at my joke, which wasnt cool. Anyway after that we would chat here and there and because we were doing the same bridging course we got put in a group assignment together with some other people, Which was so good. Not only did I have an excuse to actually converse with her, but it meant she had to give me her phone number and name and i didnt have to embarrass the complete fuck out of myself trying to ask her – So i won that round, Life.
Guess what the first thing i did after that day was, yep! FACEBOOK HUNTING! Sure enough I found her, man she was even gorgeous when she wasnt trying. I played it cool though, didn’t wanna seem too desperate. I’m totally kidding I added her the second I found her Facebook, My favourite thing was that I’d seen she went for the same AFL team as I did, this is big man this is big. I’m a major footy fan so this was huge. Anyway so she accepted a few hours later, and I don’t think I spoke to her straight away, I think a few days passed and then I’d messaged her the lamest thing ever. So we had a Math assessment we were working on and I was struggling hard out, so I’d assume everyone was. I messaged her and said something like “Man how hard is this assessment right?!” SMOOOOOOOOOTH….. Guess what she replied with though.. she goes “Nah i thought it was actually pretty easy”. Wowwwwww nice going Callum, now she thinks you’re a total potato skin… Anyway things started going really well, we’d talk all the time and she’d leave notes on my car, all that lame shit I know.
Then just when things start looking up…. Guess who wants to pop back into the picture… And guess what asshole decides to choose that said person over this new treasure I’d just met… ARGHHHH Yep.. this stupid ass. So I told Jess what was going on in my head and how it was really hard to just move on from a long-term relationship and I didn’t want anyone to get hurt blah blah blah. You know what sucked the most? She took it so well and wasn’t even phased about the girlfriend part, she was more sad about not being friends or being able to talk anymore. Thinking back on all of this I wish I stabbed myself in the eye, what the fuck was I thinking?
So a few weeks pass.. Nothing gets better between (lets call her Professor EX) Professor EX, and things get called quits. I told myself I’m not trying for anything anymore i was just going to go with the flow and do me and see how life decides to bully me. Jess and I still spoke, joked around and what not and eventually we would hang out a lot more and i guess one thing led to another and we were I guess dating? I don’t know, It was the first time not ‘asking someone out’ if that makes sense, it just happened. Things were great, we were happy and I was happy (Or so I thought). Anyway fast forward to April, around Easter time. We were at a friend’s house for a little get together and because Jess was drinking and i wasn’t i said i would drive her car (we had to go grab a friend and bring her to the gathering). So we jump in and go grab her and on the way home, the worst moment of my fucking life occurred. I shit you not, this is the worst thing that’s ever happened. We crashed, well I crashed, it was my fault. It was raining and I must not have been paying attention to what was going on and I’d run right into the back of a parked car… Yeah parked, not even in the way, I dunno what the fuck happened really… Her mum came to pick jess up and because I had no ride home she took me home too, I have never felt like a bigger piece of shit than how I felt that night. Her parents would hate me, She would hate me, my life was over… Surprisingly not all of that was true, I mean her parents hated me and I mean FUCKING HATED ME, but Jess didn’t. She came over every day after and just laid in bed with me and cheered me up (well, tried to).
This is the part where you’re going to hate me, I really don’t even want to talk about it because I’m not like that. I’m not that bad a person. Anyway don’t stop reading now after wishing I’d burn in hell. You’ve come this far so you might as well read the rest.
So a few months pass and I’m still feeling like a worthless piece of shit and I don’t want to have to deal with it all… So after helping her get a new car I break things off between us… Yep, I know. Burn in hell Callum. After everything happened and things were done I felt a lot better, i know it was wrong but.. Well I can’t really explain what was going on in my head at the time but I guess it just felt right, honestly I think mixed emotions about what had happened with the car, her parents, with professor EX and everything else was just too much for me to handle.
Jess and I had the same group of friends so we would all still hang out, shit was awkward to start off with but eventually it was okay, there were no hard feelings between us. Not sure I can comprehend why she didn’t hire a hitman to take me out but yeah, we were all good. So I think like 6 weeks or so pass, during this time we would still have inside jokes between us and laugh about old memories and all that so there was still something there. Anyway, we are all having a few drinks at my house on Halloween night and I guess that was the clicker really. I guess something re-lit ‘the fuse’ or whatever they say and we were back to acting like we did at the beginning. Theres no other way to put it really, we were going great. NOW for the fun part, earning her parents trust again. Especially after everything that went down, they would have known everything too, frankly I’m more surprised THEY didn’t hire the hitman to take me out… But eventually things worked out well, they slowly came around and things were looking up. What a fucked up 2015 right? Surely 2016 would be better… NOPE…. Nah just kidding, ever since then we have never been happier. I mean apart from the ol “Where do you wanna eat” arguments or the “No I drove last time!”…
We’ve accomplished a fair bit together in our solid 4 years of taking on the world together, take a look:
- We started studying Psychology together.
- We stopped studying Psychology together because uni fucking sucked.
- She supported me when I wanted to take on personal training, She then got jealous that I was doing something I loved so she did the same thing and got her diploma in Beauty Therapy (Which I was all for).
- We moved into our first rental together.
- We havent choked each other out in about 3 weeks now, which is good. Totally joking, we never really argue that much unless it’s the little things.
- We plan to buy our first house together in the next few months, which is all on track and going well.
- Have about 450 Things on our bucket list to do together – Top of the list being ‘Start our own little family.
The quote I live by is that “Everything Happens for a Reason”, now this isn’t an excuse to be lazy and expect everything to happen for you, you still have to work hard for shit you want. But if none of this had happened, who knows if we would be where we are today, you know? So even though a fuck load of shit went down, it all worked out for the best and I tell ya what, I will marry this girl and be with her for the rest of my life and i 110% believe that.
So there you go, maybe I’ll go into detail about the recent years in our life soon, but i think that’s enough for now. I hope you enjoyed reading that and don’t hate me too much. I am a good person i swear. So I’ll end this post on that note and I’ll leave a few photos below of my #1 Gal and I.